The Collapse Will Be Live-Streamed
and "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf
This essay is written and illustrated (all hand drawn) by Scott Thigpen and edited by Heather Herrington.
Living through a ‘historical moment’ sounded romantic back when I was half-asleep in Mrs. Tiddlecomb’s 10th grade World History class. Turns out, it’s less Renaissance painting of naked nymphs and more plague sequel directed by Michael Bay and Ridley Scott. When history repeats itself, America makes it a TikTok challenge.
We All Fall Down
There’s not an empire that has stood the test of time; all of them have fallen. Yep, The Roman Empire, the British Empire, Alderaan, the Mongol Empire, Mordor, the Ottomans, the Soviets—all either collapsed, got absorbed, or slowly mutated into something else entirely. We Americans should look at this as a warning sign, but instead we’re too busy watching an expert on TikTok spew tons of disinformation to continue to erode (well, we’re past erosion and we’re full onto a mudslide, slicker than a greased pig in a Vaseline factory) the fabric of communal trust and common sense.
Some people are scared, some are terrified, others are angry, and then there’s that subspecies of human knuckle-draggers that are ok with worshipping charismatic billionaires who make George W. Bush look like an erudite scholar. We are essentially “living in a meme” these days, and the parallels to how Rome fell are… well, frightening as Hell.
WHAT REALLY TOOK ROME DOWN
Let’s look to historical criticism rather than feeling, rhetoric, or opinion of why Rome fell. First of all, much like how Rome was built, it didn’t fall overnight. More so, it decayed over centuries in a slow-motion collapse rather than a thunderous boom. This was largely due to:
Overexpansion + Military Overload: Rome expanded for thousands of miles—territory which it then had to defend. This was costly and probably a huge mess, as they didn’t have the communication system we do today. So just imagine trying to get a message to the furthest-most border of your Empire. No Wi-Fi, no 5G, and no Uber. Just a messenger boy that would run—like in 490 BCE, when Pheidippides sprinted ~25 miles from Marathon to Athens to announce victory over the Persians, then dropped dead. That’s how messages traveled: on foot, by breath, and by collapse.
Economic Collapse & Inequality: Rome had a mountain of debt, slave labor, and a 1% so rich they were basically bathing in olive oil. The poor were starving, the middle class vanished, and the only thing trickling down was the sewage from the upper levels.
Political Corruption and Instability: Within about 100 years, Rome had 70 emperors. A bunch of those guys were murdered; the entire empire was run like a reality show… but with swords (stabby stab stab)! Civil wars and power struggles eroded trust in leadership.
Civic Apathy and Institutional Decay: Trust in government just… disappeared. People stopped participating in civic life, and public infrastructure was heavily neglected. (If you were to look at this as a map: “you, my friend, are here.”)
Invasions… just not what you think they were like: Barbarians didn’t sneak in and destroy Rome—by 400 CE they could just waltz in and take it, because it’d turned into a piece of rotting fruit rather than the beaming light of civilization.
Bread and Circus: Instead of fixing problems, leaders had basically a “team-building pizza party” to improve morale by giving out free grain and promoting violent entertainment. It worked! Well… it did until it didn’t.
The Man In The Mirror
Now golly-gee-whiz… if that’s how Rome fell, well… I wonder what current country reflects that? I can’t put my finger on it just this moment… OH YEAH, OUR FUCKING COUNTRY, THE USA. We freedom so hard here we forgot what we were freedoming about. But goddammit, no one is taking away my freedom or my 300 flags shoved in my Cybertruck (well, unless it’s one of them rainbow flags… then we got ourselves a problem).
Ok, I’m not suggesting that America is going to fall into Mike Judge’s opus, Idiocracy. No, I’m not suggesting this at all. What I’m doing is TELLING YOU—we ARE well into the first 1/3 of the movie Idiocracy. (If you’ve not watched it, you should... it used to be something you cried laughing at, now you just cry watching it.)
Reality TV devolved into TikTok influencers eating Tide Pods, deep-frying their balls, and announcing presidential campaigns—sometimes in the same 60-second video; my trust in our government to do what’s in our best interest is completely gone; revered institutions are failing us, but I do have some good news… over on Facebook, Kaleeign Aňña Silver just posted a personal record in her CrossFit session this morning, #legDay #noDaysOff #likeAndSubscribe!
I look for ways to numb myself through entertainment so I can forget we’re collapsing—and we’re collapsing because we’ve forgotten to entertain reality.
And all this just drives me batshit insane, and like the rest of America, I look for ways to numb myself through entertainment so I can forget we’re collapsing—and we’re collapsing because we’ve forgotten to entertain reality.
It’s bad, man.
Rome Fell because of DEI and Wokeism
Growing up, if the church’s doors were open, I was there. At bare minimum, I was at church three times a week, then went on to study at Samford University, which is a Christian college with a student body so conservative that they wore their lifeguard patch on the sleeve of their swimsuit.
During this time, I often heard that Rome fell because of sexual promiscuity, people turning away from God, and… well you know, the gays (who obviously destroy humanity with their army of drag queens reading Dr. Seuss books to kids). While I do not have a DeLorean to go back in time and verify for sure, history shows us that the fall of Rome was more about failing infrastructure, and less about Uncle Adam and Aunt Steve having a toga-less picnic, in a van, down by the Tigris Euphrates river.
Lovely, What Do I Do?
As I write this essay, I am riddled with my own anxiety and fears for America. Watching the firehose of disinformation spew sludge all over us during the pandemic, with people screaming about their freedoms being taken away because they had to put a piece of cloth over their nose and mouth, was a harsh realization that our social structure is held together by Band-Aids rather than the strength of trust, love, and care for each other. Mix in a heavy dose of genuinely bad actors, a few billionaires’ personal interests, and the disinformation machines coming out of Russia and China, and well… it’s been hard to function as a critically-thinking adult.
So what am I going to do?
Grow Food: I love the term “NGL” (not gonna lie), because NGL… I am terrible at growing a garden full of food. I’ve tried. I’ve had some success, but mostly just produced dying vegetables where bugs eat clean through them. But then there are green-thumbed people like
, who posts pictures of the most amazing things he’s grown in his garden. I could reach out to him and ask him what to do and how to grow stuff. I figure if my ancestors can do it, I can do it.Trust grows fast when it’s watered with sincerity and not whatever passes for virtue signaling these days.
Grow Trust: While I’m fairly certain my FarmVille skills would collapse like a toddler-built Jenga tower, I can grow trust with my neighbors. That starts by doing kind things without expecting anything in return—no barter system, no karma points, no Instagram reel to prove it happened. Just show up, be decent, and for the love of civilization, don’t be a dick. Trust grows fast when it’s watered with sincerity and not whatever passes for virtue signaling these days.
Grow “The Hell Up”: I’ve been told this crap line my entire life—usually by people who think "growing up" means to conform to a systemic social structure of mediocrity. Turns out, what they meant was "become who I think you should be." But real growth? That came the moment I realized I get to decide to be whatever the hell I want to be.
I try (keyword: try) to practice mindfulness, which costs exactly $0.00 and doesn’t require a 7-day juice cleanse or a jade egg butt plug sold by Gwyneth Paltrow and her GOOP Company. For me, it’s just about knowing where I am in space, taking a breath, and not spiraling into outrage like your crazy-ass aunt on Facebook posting memes that confirm her biases instead of, you know... doing critical thinking… and shit.Grow Creativity: I firmly believe that if humans didn’t have to go work an 8–5 job, a side hustle, AND their second job just to afford eggs, we’d all slide into some form of creativity. Whether it’s visual art, music, poetry, writing, engineering, or dance—I truly feel if we had our needs met, we’d be more creative. But we don’t live in that world and we never will. However, you can still create, and something created today may be the candle that lights our way in the future.
For me? This newsletter has been my source of creativity and respite. I also hope each week that it may bring a smile and laughter, or a deep thought to someone… if only for a minute… because let’s face it, we’re allllll stressed out and usually just two seconds away from an existential and psychological breakdown.
So I create, and it does my soul a lot of good to do so. If creating is something you feel would benefit you but don’t know where to start? Go take a napkin and crumple it up, tape that crumple to a leftover chopstick from the sushi place you always order from, and then give it to someone and say, “I made a flower and wanted to give it to you.” You just might find yourself feeling what us humans feel best… you might feel connected. Or at the very least, you’ll feel more human than say influencers who sniff chairs immediately after guests vacated them for internet clout.* (Check the citations below 👇 for more lovely info on this shit stain of a human. Also that link is safe for work).
Free fallin'
When America falls—and I fear it will—it won’t be fire and fury. It’ll be rot and reruns. But meaning and purpose don’t burn—they wait in the rubble for someone sober enough, with calloused hands and a clear heart, to plant seeds of hope.
And what about those of us who are gonna endure a lot of anguish? What happens when it’s too dark, too scary, too bleak? Then scroll back to the top and read Gandalf’s words. After you’ve reread it, go pull your Spanx up over that muffin lid of yours, and put your GRRR face on! This is the first act of rebellion.
Citations
I try to cite all sources where I get my information. Below is a list of those sources. But we all know why you’re here, you’re here in the reference of the butt sniffer influencer I am referring to.
Adin Ross (link is SFW), a streamer whose career trajectory includes chair-sniffing stunts and hosting controversial figures like Nick Fuentes and Andrew Tate, gifted Donald Trump a Rolex and a Tesla Cybertruck during a livestream—actions that raised potential campaign finance violations. Despite being banned from Twitch for hate speech, Ross continues to amass wealth, with estimates placing his net worth between $16 million and $24 million, primarily from his activities on Social Media and various sponsorships… for essentially sniffing chairs where your butt was a few minutes ago.
Now onto the boring shit:
Rome had 70 emperors in 100 years
Between 27 BCE and 476 CE, Rome saw dozens of emperors, with roughly 70 in the 100 years between 186 and 285 CE—many of whom were assassinated or overthrown.
Pheidippides running from Marathon to Athens and dying
According to legend, the Greek messenger Pheidippides ran ~25 miles to deliver news of victory, then collapsed and died—origin of the modern marathon.
Rome's fall was a slow-motion collapse, not a sudden event
Historians widely agree that the Roman Empire’s decline was a drawn-out process spanning centuries, not a singular dramatic fall.
Rome relied on slave labor and had increasing wealth inequality
Enslaved labor was a foundation of the Roman economy, and elite wealth grew sharply during Rome's decline, leaving the middle class squeezed out.
https://www.worldhistory.org/article/764/slavery-in-ancient-rome/
Barbarians didn’t “invade” so much as walk into a rotting empire
By the late 4th century, barbarian tribes often entered Roman lands not by invasion but by invitation, treaty, or necessity, as the state was too weak to resist.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/rome-barbarian-invasions-collapse
Bread and circuses (panem et circenses)
The Roman government provided free grain and violent spectacles to distract and pacify the population during times of political instability.
“Idiocracy” as a satirical portrayal of societal decline
Mike Judge’s 2006 film Idiocracy critiques cultural and intellectual deterioration via satire. It has become a modern reference point for social commentary.
Use of TikTok to spread misinformation
TikTok has faced criticism and scrutiny for hosting and amplifying misinformation, especially during political or health-related events.
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/tiktok-misinformation-disinformation-report-rcna42654
Decline in trust in U.S. government and institutions
Public trust in the U.S. government and major institutions (media, education, Congress) has reached historic lows in the 21st century.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/1597/confidence-institutions.aspx
Disinformation campaigns from Russia and China targeting the U.S.
U.S. intelligence and independent watchdogs have documented persistent disinformation efforts from foreign actors aimed at destabilizing trust in American democracy.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/26/technology/disinformation-russia-china-iran.html
Excellent work, as usual! Let me know when you're ready to start the garden journey. I could ramble about permaculture for hours, lol.
I like money.
And your Gandalf image to open this episode 😁